Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
