fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
