I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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