If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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