I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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