Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
