My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
