I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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