you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
