Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Terrible idea I love it
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
