I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
