is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
