If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
