i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
