First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
are you so shy because you have an std?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
