the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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