I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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