Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
