I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Someone shit on the floor
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
