in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
