the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
vagina is talking i cant
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Why is your signature on my underwear?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
