They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
