Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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