Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
