Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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