Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
