I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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