Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I think people are normalizing furries
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
