I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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