So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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