Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
