You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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