I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
