So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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