GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
