I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
