Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
