i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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