Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
