All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
