She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
