she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
