Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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