I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
