Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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