Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I wish i was in the wii world.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
