He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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