I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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