All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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