Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
