All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
