Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
