I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
