Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
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